I've been practicing my Valentine's Day skills

by lovingly cooking a solo meal, and then arguing with myself over who left the dishes in the sink

I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year by

reorganizing my Netflix queue into 'alone and happy' categories.

I tried to order a Valentine's Day dinner for one, but the restaurant had a special request

They asked if I wanted to upgrade to a pity party of two, with a complimentary side of tears

Is your heart a target?

Because Cupid keeps missing it and hitting my wallet.