I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Valentine's Day?

Because it felt crumby and wanted a sweet diagnosis

Are you a Valentine's Day Teddy Bear?

Because you're paws-itively adorable and I'm bear-ly able to resist you

Why did the chocolate chip cookie propose on Valentine's Day?

Because it finally found its chipmate!