My neighbor called me this morning, frantic. She said she couldn't get it to go up, no matter how much she tried to pump it herself. She really needed a big, strong man to come over and give it a good working over until it was really stiff and full.

Turns out she was trying to inflate her son's bouncy castle.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional fencer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of parrying and riposting in a tight spot.

Now I can finally score without getting caught off guard.

A man and a woman walked into a bar, and the bartender looked up and said, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' The woman smiled and said they were on their first date, and the man had promised to show her a great time.

So he pulled out a condom and said, 'Let's get started on the main course.'

My pottery instructor told me I really needed to work on my handling skills.

Now I'm much better at getting things wet and spinning them into shape.