My girlfriend told me she finds a man who can 'handle his wood' very attractive.

I guess I'd better learn some carpentry.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional dominatrix, and she's always trying to make our relationship more exciting.

But honestly, the only thing she's really dominating is my credit card.

Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.

I've been trying to improve my relationships by taking a wine and paint class

Now I'm better at handling brushstrokes, but still struggling to find a good blend