I've been dating a girl who's a talented cryptologist, and she's always trying to get me to crack her code.

But honestly, I think she's just looking for someone to decrypt her daddy issues.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional clockmaker

and she's been teaching me how to wind people up

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional audiologist, and she's always trying to help me find my frequency.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to tune me out in bed.