Are you a time traveler?

Because I see you in my future... helping me renew my driver's license at the DMV.

My relationship status this Valentine's Day is 'In a committed relationship with...'

...my Netflix queue and a suspiciously large bag of chips.

They say Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates their great love story.

Mine's more of a short story collection, where each entry features me and a different comfort food.

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time!