What did the grape say when it got invited to a Valentine's Day party?

I'm crushed that I have to decline, but I'd love to wine and dine with you another time

What did the chocolate bar say to its Valentine?

I'm nuts about you!

Did Cupid just shoot me with one of his arrows?

Because I'm feeling a strange tingling sensation... that usually means I sat on my leg funny.

Are you a calendar?

Because I'd love to date you, but I really need to check my schedule first.