This Valentine's Day, I'm celebrating by getting into a long-term, committed relationship.

With my couch and a streaming service. We're very exclusive.

I love how on Valentine's Day, restaurants add a special surcharge

for being lonely together

My ideal Valentine's Day date doesn't involve fancy restaurants or grand romantic gestures.

It involves a comfy couch, my favorite takeout, and absolutely no small talk about our 'future'.

Why did the rose go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little prickly about its relationships