Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Because you just landed on my foot, and I'm pretty sure I heard something crack.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.

I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.

I'm reading a book on Valentine's Day traditions

Apparently, it's all about love, romance, and pretending to like overpriced dinners.