I've been dating a girl who's a professional taxidermist, and she's always trying to get me to mount something that's been dead for a while.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional cryptologist, and she's always trying to crack my code

But honestly, I think she's just looking for a backdoor entry

My financial advisor told me I need to be more aggressive with my assets...

...and diversify my portfolio by spreading it around.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional mirroring coach, and she's always trying to get me to reflect on our relationship.

But honestly, it's just a lot of self-reflection and I'm not sure I'm ready to face myself in the morning.