Are you a Valentine's Day heart-shaped balloon?

Because you're inflating my expectations of love and I don't want you to pop out of my life.

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.

I'm starting to think Valentine's Day is just a social experiment

to see how many people will willingly pay triple for flowers and dinner

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.