Why did the rose decide to propose on Valentine's Day?

Because it was ready to bud the question!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Because you just landed on my foot, and I'm pretty sure I heard something crack.

I tried to order a Valentine's Day dinner for one, but the restaurant had a special request

They asked if I wanted to upgrade to a pity party of two, with a complimentary side of tears

My favorite thing about Valentine's Day is actually the day after.

That's when all the good chocolate goes 50% off. It's like Christmas, but for cynics.