I told my girlfriend she was amazing in bed, and she asked me to be more specific.

So I said, 'You're great at hiding the evidence, but sometimes I feel like I'm the one being investigated.'

I've been dating a girl who's a professional glassblower, and she's always trying to get me to help her shape something delicate and fragile.

Now she says I'm really good at blowing things out of proportion.

I went to a fancy wine tasting last night, and the sommelier was very particular about how we should enjoy the wine.

She kept saying, 'Swirl it gently, get your nose deep in the glass, and take a long, satisfying swallow.'

I went on a date with a woman who said she was looking for a man who could 'go all night long'.

I told her I could definitely stay awake for eight hours, but she seemed less impressed when I clarified I meant binge-watching a documentary about competitive cheese rolling.