My new barber asked me how I wanted my head.

I told him I like it when he really works it over and leaves it feeling good.

My sniper instructor always emphasized the importance of proper bullet trajectory.

He said, 'You want maximum penetration, and a clean, deep impact.'

My new personal trainer told me she wanted me to really get down and dirty on the mat. She said I needed to get on my hands and knees, arch my back, and then slowly push and pull, making sure to really get deep into it for a full range of motion.

...I never knew yoga could be so intense.

My girlfriend recently told me she wanted me to put more effort into our love life. She said she was tired of me just going straight for it and finishing too quickly.

I told her, 'Look, I treat sex like I treat my taxes: I just want to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.'