I'm not single on Valentine's Day, I'm just

in a long-distance relationship with my couch and Netflix.

I'm not saying I'm against Valentine's Day, but

I'm starting to think it's just a holiday where people pay more for the same restaurants and flowers they can get any other day

Why did Cupid get kicked out of the bakery?

He kept shooting for the heart-shaped cookies!

On Valentine's Day, couples are out there, declaring their undying love with grand gestures...

And I'm just grateful for the unwavering loyalty of my couch and the remote control.