Some people spend Valentine's Day searching for their soulmate.

I'm just trying to decide if my soulmate is the pizza delivery guy or the remote control.

I've been practicing my Valentine's Day skills

by lovingly cooking a solo meal, and then arguing with myself over who left the dishes in the sink

Are you a Valentine's card?

Because you're covered in glitter... and now my whole house is too.

This Valentine's Day, while couples are gazing into each other's eyes...

I'll be gazing lovingly into the bottom of a pizza box.