My girlfriend told me she loves foreplay.

I told her, 'Great, because I usually need about an hour and a half just to get my socks off.'

My dentist told me I needed a deep cleaning.

I told him I thought he was only interested in my teeth.

My wife always tells me I'm terrible at home improvement projects.

But last night, she said I was really good at handling a stud.

I've been dating a girl who's into ghosting, which is weird because

I'm starting to think she's just into haunt-ing me after sex.