My wife and I share a bathroom, and after all these years, I've finally figured out her beauty routine.

It involves 27 different bottles and precisely 3 square inches of counter space for my toothbrush.

Marriage is like a beautiful puzzle

because even when you lose a few pieces, you still have a great picture, and the groom has finally found someone who can put up with him trying to force the wrong pieces to fit

We added up the costs of the venue, food, and decorations for our wedding

And realized we could've just bought a small island and eloped

I've noticed that marriage is a lot like a computer update

At first, it's exciting and full of new features, but eventually, it just takes up a lot of space and sometimes freezes on you.