I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.

Why did the coffee file a police report on Valentine's Day?

Because it got mugged by love

I've been trying to find the perfect way to spend Valentine's Day as a single person

And then I realized, it's just like any other Tuesday, but with more expensive flowers and judging looks from couples

My Valentine's Day plans usually involve a very specific type of bouquet.

A pizza box, surrounded by breadsticks.