My wife told me she needed me to really get down and dirty tonight, handle something long and stiff, and then help her get it off.

She just wanted me to help her change the vacuum cleaner bag.

I've been dating a girl who's into tantric sex, which is all about prolonging the experience.

Now I know why her Netflix subscription is still active after 6 months of us watching the same episode of 'Stranger Things'.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to tease her more in bed.

I said, 'Alright, but you're not getting an orgasm until you finally fix that leaky faucet.'

I've been dating a girl who's a talented baker, and she's always trying to get me to rise to the occasion.

But honestly, I think she's just kneading the attention.