I've been dating a botanist, and she's been teaching me about the art of cultivation.

Apparently, I've been nurturing a weed.

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.

Why did the man bring a screwdriver on his first date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

My wife always tells me I need to work on my presentation skills.

She says I rush through the intro and don't spend enough time on the visuals.