Are you a Valentine's Day coupon?

Because you're redeemable in my heart, but unfortunately, you're also expiring soon if you don't go out with me.

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.

On Valentine's Day, couples are out there, declaring their undying love with grand gestures...

And I'm just grateful for the unwavering loyalty of my couch and the remote control.

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go on a date?

Because it was looking for a sweet relationship