We started planning our dream wedding with a modest budget and a simple guest list.

Then our parents got involved, and now we're just trying to find a second mortgage to cover the open bar.

When my wife and I were dating, she used to say I was such a great listener, I'd often finish her sentences.

Now, I just finish her snacks.

I've been thinking, marriage is like a GPS navigation system

because it starts out saying 'recalculating your life' and eventually just says 'arriving at your destination, love you, turn left'

I was talking to the groom about his expectations for married life

He said he's looking forward to having a partner in crime, and I think he's going to get that – every time they look at their joint bank statement