Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid?

Because I just cut myself trying to open this Valentine's candy wrapper.

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their Valentine's Day date?

Because they wanted to attract some love

I've been trying to find my perfect match on dating apps

but so far, it's just been a series of swipes, disappointment, and proof that my friends were wrong when they said I'm a catch

Are you a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day?

Because you're making my heart melt, and I think I'm nuts about you!