Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time

Do you have a Valentine's Day sweetheart?

Because you're a-maize-ing and I'm corny for you!

People always ask me what my significant other is getting me for Valentine's Day.

My significant other is Amazon Prime, and they're getting me whatever I put in my cart at 2 AM last Tuesday.

I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year by

reorganizing my Netflix queue into 'alone and happy' categories.