I've been dating a girl who's a professional architect, and she's always trying to redesign our sex life.

Now every time we hook up, it's a blueprint for disaster.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional arborist, and she's always trying to get me to branch out and try new things in the evening

My wife said I need to be more hands-on around the house.

I told her I'm happy to help, but she usually wants me to 'drill down' in a very specific area.

I've been dating a girl who's really into polyamory, and I have to say, it's been a real learning experience.

Now I know what it's like to be in a relationship, a backup plan, and a participation trophy all at the same time.