I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year by

reorganizing my Netflix queue into 'lonely nights' and 'even lonelier nights' categories.

Are you a Valentine's Day rose?

Because you're making my heart grow a petal-fect love for you

What did one chocolate say to the other on Valentine's Day?

Let's truffle some feathers!

People always ask me what my significant other is getting me for Valentine's Day.

My significant other is Amazon Prime, and they're getting me whatever I put in my cart at 2 AM last Tuesday.