I've been dating a girl who's a sex therapist, and she's always trying to diagnose our problems in the bedroom.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to bill me by the hour.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional sausage maker, and she's always trying to get me to help her stuff the casing.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional mirroring coach, and she's always trying to get me to reflect on our relationship.

But honestly, it's just a lot of self-reflection and I'm not sure I'm ready to face myself in the morning.

I've been dating a girl who's a talented locksmith

and she's always looking for a key to a deeper relationship