My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her 'knight in shining armor' in the bedroom.

So I showed up in full plate mail and spent the next hour trying to figure out how to get my dick out.

My girlfriend told me I need to be more supportive in our relationship, really hold her up and be her rock.

I told her, 'Honey, I've been supporting you on my face for weeks now.'

I've been dating a professional archer, and she's been teaching me about the art of precision and follow-through.

But honestly, it's all about finding the right target and hitting it repeatedly until you finally get a bullseye.

My wife told me she wants me to 'go all night' in the bedroom.

I told her, 'Honey, I barely make it through the opening credits without falling asleep, let alone the director's cut.'