I've been dating a girl who's a professional mirroring coach, and she's always trying to get me to reflect on our relationship.

But honestly, it's just a lot of self-reflection and I'm not sure I'm ready to face myself in the morning.

I just had the worst oral sex of my life.

My dentist said I need to floss more.

My girlfriend spent an hour in the dressing room yesterday trying on new pants.

When she finally emerged, she sighed and said, "It was a tight squeeze, and took a lot of maneuvering, but I think I'm really going to enjoy these."

My rock climbing instructor told me I needed to improve my grip.

I told him, 'Funny, my girlfriend always tells me I've got a fantastic grip.'