I've been dating a mathematician, and she's always trying to find the common denominator in our relationship.

But it's always reducing to a fraction of what it used to be.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional clockmaker

and she's been teaching me how to wind people up

I've been dating a girl who's a professional cryptologist, and she's always trying to crack my code

But honestly, I think she's just looking for a backdoor entry

My girlfriend told me she wanted to grow some herbs in the garden.

I told her I was more into deep rooting and extensive ground cover.