I just started a new job at a bakery, and my boss is very particular about how I handle the dough.

He says I need to come in early, work it hard and fast until it's really stiff, then get it warm and moist so it can rise properly.

My girlfriend told me she loves foreplay.

I told her, 'Great, because I usually need about an hour and a half just to get my socks off.'

My therapist told me I need to be more present in the moment.

I told her sometimes I just can't help myself from coming early.

I've been dating a clockmaker, and she's always trying to wind me up