I just had the worst oral sex of my life.

My dentist said I need to floss more.

Why did the man bring a compass on his date?

He wanted to take their relationship in a new direction.

My girlfriend asked me why I spend so much time on market research.

I told her I just really believe in customer satisfaction.

My girlfriend spent an hour in the dressing room yesterday trying on new pants.

When she finally emerged, she sighed and said, "It was a tight squeeze, and took a lot of maneuvering, but I think I'm really going to enjoy these."