Before [Bride's Name] came along, [Groom's Name]'s five-year plan mostly involved saving up for a new gaming console or perhaps a slightly less dented car.

Now, his vision for the future includes things like joint bank accounts, matching towels, and figuring out the optimal feng shui for their spice rack.

I love how marriage is all about sharing

especially when it comes to the blankets, because now I'm only allowed half of one

We added up the costs of the venue, food, and decorations for our wedding

And realized we could've just bought a small island and eloped

On our first date, I meticulously planned every detail, ironed my best shirt, and practiced witty banter.

Now, for 'date night' at home, my main concern is whether these sweatpants have enough elasticity left for a second helping of pizza.