They say love is all you need, but I think marriage is more like a DIY project from a flat-pack furniture store.

You start with enthusiasm, follow vague instructions, argue over which part goes where, and eventually, you end up with something beautiful... and maybe a few extra pieces you're not sure about.

I thought I knew my family well before planning our wedding.

Turns out, some relatives are like volatile chemicals; best kept in separate containers on the seating chart.

I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to ask for permission

like, 'Honey, can I turn the thermostat down?' is actually just code for 'Can I still be in charge of something?'

When we were dating, my husband would surprise me with flowers and thoughtful gifts.

Now, I consider it a romantic gesture if he just remembers to put his dirty clothes *in* the hamper.