If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber...

...but I'm really looking for a beet, because I heard they're good for your heart.

This Valentine's Day, while everyone's planning candlelit dinners and romantic getaways...

I'm planning an epic solo mission to the grocery store for half-price chocolate on February 15th.

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time

Why did the musician give their loved one a drum for Valentine's Day?

Because they wanted to make their heart beat for them!