I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year by

reorganizing my Netflix queue into 'alone and happy' categories.

People always ask me what my significant other is getting me for Valentine's Day.

My significant other is Amazon Prime, and they're getting me whatever I put in my cart at 2 AM last Tuesday.

Is your dad a baker?

Because you're a cutie pie... and I was hoping he had some leftovers for Valentine's Day!

Why did the couple bring a ladder on their Valentine's Day date?

Because they wanted to take their relationship to new heights