🔥 Top Rated Dirty Jokes

I've been dating a girl who's really into polyamory, and I have to say, it's been a real learning experience.

I've been taking classes to improve my thrusting technique, and my instructor says I have a lot of potential for deep development.

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

I've been dating a sex therapist, and I have to say, she's always trying to get to the root of the problem.

Why did the escort bring a ladder on her date?

My pottery instructor told me I really needed to work on my handling skills.

My wife told me she needed me to help her 'get off' after a long day.

My girlfriend told me our sex life was getting a little stale, and she wanted me to try something new and exciting.

My new pottery instructor told me I need to be more sensitive with my hands.

My new masseuse told me I was too tense.

My girlfriend recently told me she wanted me to put more effort into our love life. She said she was tired of me just going straight for it and finishing too quickly.

My neighbor asked if I could come over and help her out. She said she had a really stubborn patch in her garden that just wouldn't get wet enough, no matter how much she tried to work it herself. She really needed a big, strong man to come over, get it good and soft, and then jam something long and hard right in there.

My neighbor called me this morning, frantic. She said she couldn't get it to go up, no matter how much she tried to pump it herself. She really needed a big, strong man to come over and give it a good working over until it was really stiff and full.

My dentist told me I needed to improve my flossing technique.

My personal trainer told me the key to developing great stamina.

My wife told me she was having a really tough time getting anything to stand up properly. She said she needed something big, firm, and long-lasting to really fill the void and give her the support she'd been craving.

My girlfriend told me she really wanted me to listen to her and pay attention to her every need in bed.

My neighbor called me late last night, frantic. She said she was trying a new position but just couldn't get it to feel right...

My wife told me she was having a lot of trouble with her new recipe. She said she was trying to get something big and firm to really swell up, but it just kept getting soft and refusing to rise.

My therapist told me that for a relationship to really work, both partners need to put in the effort.

My neighbor came over late last night, looking desperate. She said she was all wet, things were tight, and she needed a big, strong man to come over and help her work it until it was firmly in place.

My wife was complaining the other day. She said I never properly finish the job, always leaving things uneven and requiring her to pick up the slack, and that I really needed to work on my strokes to get a good, smooth coat.

My art teacher told me I needed to really 'work on my finishing techniques' to get a better grade.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to really work on my penetration.

My boss told me he was concerned about the stiff competition we were facing.

My girlfriend said she was bored with our sex life and wanted to try something that would really get her heart racing and leave her breathless.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more of an alpha male in bed.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more aggressive in bed, to really dominate her and make her feel things she'd never felt before.

My girlfriend told me she wanted us to really work on our oral communication.

My neighbor called me over late last night, frantic because her pipes were really backed up. She said she needed a big, strong man to come over and give them a good pounding until everything started flowing freely again.

My new barber asked me how I wanted my head.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to go down on her like it was my last meal.

My girlfriend told me she loves our road trips.

My coworker told me he was really struggling with a stubborn problem at home.

My wife is always complaining that I never listen to her in bed.

My wife told me she wanted to get down on her hands and knees, go deeper than ever before, and really let me take control from behind to ensure everything was spotless.

My golf game has really gone downhill lately.

My wife just got a new hobby. She loves to spend hours getting things wet and slippery, then slowly working them in and out until they're firm and ready.

My girlfriend got mad at me because I can never remember where I put my keys, but I always know exactly where she keeps her vibrator.

I told my new barista that I like it when she really gets in there and starts pounding and grinding, then finishes it off with a nice swirl of cream.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more adventurous in bed.

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

My girlfriend asked me what the difference was between me and a vibrator.

My girlfriend told me she likes it when I take charge in the bedroom.

I went on a first date with a woman last night, and she told me she was really into self-care.

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who knows how to use his tongue to really pleasure her.

My sniper instructor always emphasized the importance of proper bullet trajectory.

I just started a new job at a bakery, and my boss is very particular about how I handle the dough.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to feel something 'deep and meaningful' in bed.

I've been seeing a professional glassblower, and she's been instructing me on the art of shaping and molding a hot, delicate piece.