🔥 Top Rated Dirty Jokes

I've been dating a girl who's really into polyamory, and I have to say, it's been a real learning experience.

I've been taking classes to improve my thrusting technique, and my instructor says I have a lot of potential for deep development.

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

I've been dating a sex therapist, and I have to say, she's always trying to get to the root of the problem.

Why did the escort bring a ladder on her date?

My pottery instructor told me I really needed to work on my handling skills.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more adventurous in bed.

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

My girlfriend asked me what the difference was between me and a vibrator.

My girlfriend told me she likes it when I take charge in the bedroom.

I went on a first date with a woman last night, and she told me she was really into self-care.

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who knows how to use his tongue to really pleasure her.

My sniper instructor always emphasized the importance of proper bullet trajectory.

I just started a new job at a bakery, and my boss is very particular about how I handle the dough.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to feel something 'deep and meaningful' in bed.

I've been seeing a professional glassblower, and she's been instructing me on the art of shaping and molding a hot, delicate piece.

My girlfriend asked me to help her with a new recipe last night. She said it needed a lot of careful preparation, a firm grip, and then I really had to beat it hard until it was stiff and peaked, ready for her to spread it out and enjoy.

I've been dating a professional archer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of proper form and follow-through.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to experiment with something new in bed. She said, 'Let's try anal.'

My girlfriend told me she wanted to move in together to 'take our relationship to the next level.'

I've been taking private lessons from a professional florist, and she's been teaching me about the art of pruning and arranging the perfect bouquet.

My wife just got a new power tool for her carpentry projects. She told me it's really important to keep a firm grip, position it just right, and then push it in deep for maximum penetration.

I've been seeing a professional pastry chef, and she's been instructing me on the art of filling and decorating delicate pastries.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to 'take her breath away' in bed.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her 'knight in shining armor' in the bedroom.

I've started dating a professional tattoo artist, and she's been teaching me about the different types of ink and needles.

My barista told me she likes a nice, long, stiff rod.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to 'get to the bottom of things' in our relationship.

My wife told me she wants me to 'go all night' in the bedroom.

My pool instructor told me the most important thing is to keep a firm grip on the cue stick.

I've started dating a professional photographer

My wife told me she prefers it when I go down on one knee.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, said she wanted me to try 'anything I've always fantasized about.'

My fishing instructor told me the most important thing is to really work the rod, get your line out deep, and keep a firm grip, because sometimes you have to wait for a while before you get a good tug.

I've been dating a professional geologist, and she's been teaching me about the different types of rocks and how they're formed.

I've been taking sailing lessons from a beautiful instructor, and she's been teaching me about the importance of tacking, coming about, and making sharp turns to stay on course.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional clockmaker

I've been taking private lessons from a professional seamstress, and she's been teaching me about the art of piercing, stitching, and threading.

My new job involves a lot of delicate handling. I have to make sure I grasp the shaft firmly, get it properly seated, and then apply steady pressure until it's fully inserted and locked in place.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to try some 'kinky stuff' in the bedroom last night. She pulled out a blindfold, some ropes, and a feather duster.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to try something new, something 'really deep and meaningful' in our relationship.

I've been taking private dance lessons from a professional instructor, and she's been teaching me about the importance of proper mounting and dismounting techniques.

I've been dating a professional librarian, and she's been teaching me about the importance of cataloging and shelving our desires.

I've been dating a professional archer, and she's been teaching me about the art of precision and follow-through.

I've been dating a professional cartographer, and she's been teaching me how to navigate our relationship.

My girlfriend told me she wanted our relationship to 'evolve,' to 'reach new heights' and 'explore uncharted territory.'

I've been taking private lessons from a professional fencer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of parrying and riposting in a tight spot.

I was helping my neighbor prepare her garden last weekend. She said we needed to get down on our knees, really open up the soil, and plant some fresh seeds deep into the fertile ground. She even said the longer and harder we worked, the better the yield would be.

My girlfriend asked me to fix a really stubborn clog in the shower last night. I had to get down on my knees, work it hard and deep with a long, flexible rod, and really thrust it in until it finally came loose.

My new fitness trainer is really intense. She says the key to a great session is to get really low, push hard against resistance, and focus on those long, deep thrusts for maximum benefit.